Overdue

Hello, welcome to my blog.  (Is this too formal?  I've never kept a blog before and don't make a habit of reading them, so I'm not privy to the etiquette.)

If you're reading this, you probably know already that my wife, Emily, and I have moved to Spain for about a year and won't be back in the United States until August 2011.  In the meantime I am applying to some MFA programs for film production across the United States, with the hope of moving to a school in Los Angeles when I return.  In other words, I am at a major crossroads in my life and have said several "goodbyes" to friends and loved ones that may be long, or even permanent ones.  As was suggested by several people, I thought it would be a good idea to keep a blog during this year, which hopefully will accomplish a few things: to keep people posted about where I am (physically, spiritually, mentally) and what I am doing; to invite communication back from people I miss; to document what will inevitably be one of the most memorable years of my life; and, not least, to encourage a near-daily exercise of (self-)reflection and active writing.

I've named my blog "A Grape In The Sun," a reference to the metaphor "a raisin in the sun" from Langston Hughes' poem Harlem; because this year abroad, and my plan from here on, represents my effort to act on my dreams without deferment, I thought the image of a ripe grape in bloom was an appropriate symbol.  (Also, I appreciated the reference to viniculture, especially since I will be making homemade wine with my cousin very soon :-))  My hope for this blog is that I reach at least 250 posts over the next eleven months, even if some are only quick photographs, or a link to something pertinent.  If you are reading this I invite you to become a follower of, and responder to, my posts, and hope you will find this blog engaging.

Firstly I'd like to address some of the major questions I've been asked: Why?  What will you be doing in Spain?  Are you sure this is a good idea?  What are your plans for after?  How does this year play into your plans?  All of these are good questions, of course, and I'll try to summarize the major points to them all in a long, rambling paragraph below.  (Note: though, obviously, I've spoken with Emily about this on several occasions, and though it is a decision we made together, in this instance I will speak only for myself and the reasoning behind my own decisions.)

My decision to move to Spain was complex, a long-time in the making and undertaken amidst several desires and ambitions.  Spain has been like a second home for me my entire life: it is the country my mother was born in; it is the first place I vacationed to; it is the place I have missed the most.  Being immersed in my Spanish heritage since birth (and, correspondingly, not knowing much about my father's heritage), it is the land and history I identify with.  I proudly carry citizenship in both the United States and Spain, and while I recognize that I am truly blessed to have lived my entire life in the United States, living there was a choice that was made for me, and I wanted to make a choice to live somewhere  for myself, to experience another kind of life.  I have always felt more at peace and more simply & profoundly happy in the various times I have been in Spain, and I wanted to test whether that was merely a symptom of being on vacation, or if it had to do with whether I might truly be a happier person in a different land.  During this year in Spain I also want to devote myself to myself, as opposed to the work of someone/something else; it can be hard, if not outright impossible, in the daily grind of life to devote ourselves to the dreams and ambitions we have--the ones that, to sound cliche, keep us up at night--and while working these last four years after college I was never able to devote significant energy to much outside of my professional obligations and my relationship with Emily.  Since, next to having a happy family, my greatest ambition in life is to become a professional filmmaker, I need to get serious about achieving my goal and dedicate myself 100% to determine if the abilities and desires that I have are sufficient to succeed to that end.  A year abroad, without the daily distractions and obligations that make hours melt into days, and weeks into months, should help me focus on my work and have the most productive year of my life.  Though I gave up a lot to be here--fiscal security and comfort, professional success and a burgeoning career at a great company, the comfort of friends and family--I believe with confidence that what I get in return will be far greater, and will satisfy much more deeply, than such material and superficial* things .  (*Note: this was not meant to suggest that "the comfort of friends and family" is a superficial thing.  I truly love and sincerely miss you all, already.)  Since the MFA programs I am applying to are all very selective, I am preparing for the very real possibility that I may be rejected from all of them; if this is the case, I want to be in a place both practically and emotionally in which I feel confident to proceed in what I want to do, with work to show and things to act upon.  And, if all else fails...fuck it, maybe I'll just never come back :-D

Well, hopefully that does a decent job of summarizing my feelings.  Any specific curiosities or questions and/or follow ups can be posted as a response and I'll do my best to address them.  But for the time being I'm done for now, and I'll be sure to update soon with specific information as far as what Emily and I have been up to, with picture and videos galore.  Cheers.